Seorang istri telp suaminya : "Pi,, mobil kita mogok, karburatornya kemasukkan air.."
Suami : "Mami jangan sok tau,, bentuknya karburator aja mami gak tau....."
Istri : "ih Papi kok gak percaya sama mami sih..??
Suami : "Mami tau apa sih soal mesin....bisanya kan cuma make mobil doang,,,Ntar biar papi yg cek, skrg mobilnya dimana??"
Istri : " Tuh,,,,nyemplung di kali,,,,"
(This blog content telling story and Motivation story from BlackBerry Messenger. Hopefully, Indonesian Citizen who live in aboard or other Citizen who ever live in Indonesia and understanding Bahasa Indonesia, longing Indonesia’s humor, enjoying this sharing). Blog ini berisi kumpulan cerita dari BlackBerry Messenger dan cerita motivasi lainnya. Diharapkan WNI yang ada di LN atau Orang asing yang pernah tinggal di Indonesia, kangen dengan humor Indonesia dapat menikmati sharing ini.
29 Feb 2012
19 Feb 2012
AdSense now speaks Indonesian (on February 1st)
We are happy to announce that we launched AdSense for Indonesian content on February 1st. If you have a website or a mobile optimised site in Bahasa Indonesia, you'll now be able to earn money by showing Google AdSense ads. Simply implement AdSense on your site in Bahasa Indonesia to start displaying contextually targeted ads.
If you have a website in Bahasa Indonesia, you'll now be able to earn money by showing Google AdSense ads. To get started, sign up for an AdSense account. We'll review your application and in the meantime, we recommend you get familiar with the basics of AdSense and our policies.
If you already have an AdSense account, simply implement AdSense on your site in Bahasa Indonesia to start displaying contextually targeted ads.
You can now also implement AdSense for Mobile content on your mobile sites in Bahasa Indonesia. Check out our Help Center to learn how to implement AdSense on a mobile site.
Selamat datang di program AdSense!
(Hari ini saya dapat pemberitahuan dari Google AdSense bahwa AdSense sudah dapat menerima Blog yang berbahasa Indonesia. Mudah-mudahan kesempatan ini dapat dimanfaatkan dengan baik)
Akhirnya sampai juga ke Indonesia, Terima kasih Google AdSense
12 Feb 2012
Cerita...When Married..?
I do not like if the WEDDING reception, meet elderly people, they always ask: "When married? When married? "
So, when the event CEMETERY, I turn to ask them "When are followed?"
Ehh .. Instead they slapped my face, ... Indeed, I was wrong ..? Really unfair ..!!
Cerita...Marketing Lesson
1) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". This is called the Direct Marketing.
2) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approach her and ask for her phone number. The next day, you telephone her: "I am very rich. Marry me ". This is Telemarketing.
3) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You tighten the tie, approached her, pouring drinks for her. Opening the car door for her and took her home and said "I am very rich. Marry me ". This is the Public Relation
4) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. She approaches you and says "You are very rich. Marry me ". This is Brand Recognition.
5) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She slapped your face hard. This Customer Feedback 6) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She replied "Not to marry, sleep with me". This is the Reward Point.
And last ...
7) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She replied "Not to marry, sleep with me". The next day, her friend who invites you out pretty well, enjoying a wonderful evening. This is the Member Get Member!
2) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approach her and ask for her phone number. The next day, you telephone her: "I am very rich. Marry me ". This is Telemarketing.
3) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You tighten the tie, approached her, pouring drinks for her. Opening the car door for her and took her home and said "I am very rich. Marry me ". This is the Public Relation
4) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. She approaches you and says "You are very rich. Marry me ". This is Brand Recognition.
5) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She slapped your face hard. This Customer Feedback 6) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She replied "Not to marry, sleep with me". This is the Reward Point.
And last ...
7) In a party, you meet a beautiful girl. You approached her and said: "I am very rich. Marry me ". She replied "Not to marry, sleep with me". The next day, her friend who invites you out pretty well, enjoying a wonderful evening. This is the Member Get Member!
8 Feb 2012
Cerita...Space is very important
Do You know the "space"
is very very important.
Check this story out.
A secretary got an expensive
"Pen" as birthday gift from her boss.
She sent her boss a 'Thank You' via
SMS. The wife read the text and angrily shows her husband the message:
"Your penis wonderful, I
enjoyed using it last night. Thanks"
Cerita...Leaving office on time
Always Leave Office on Time
1. Work is never ending process, You can never finish the works.
2. Interest of a client is not more important than your FAMILY.
3. If you fall in your life, your boss or client will not be the person to offer a helping hand but your FAMILY and FRIENDS will do.
4. Life does not mean coming to office, going home and sleeping. There's more to a life. You need time to socialize, entertainment, exercise and relaxation, don't make your life meaningless.
5. A person who sits in the office till late is not a hardworking person. He is a fool who doesn't know how to manage works within stipulated time. Beside, he is a loser in life who doesn't have personal or social life.
6. You did not study hard and struggle in the life to be a machine and live a meaningless life.
7. If your boss forces you to work late. Just forward him this message. He will try to make his/her life meaningful too.
Leaving Office on Time: More productivity, good social life, good family relations
Leaving Office Late : Less productivity, no social life, no family life.
1. Work is never ending process, You can never finish the works.
2. Interest of a client is not more important than your FAMILY.
3. If you fall in your life, your boss or client will not be the person to offer a helping hand but your FAMILY and FRIENDS will do.
4. Life does not mean coming to office, going home and sleeping. There's more to a life. You need time to socialize, entertainment, exercise and relaxation, don't make your life meaningless.
5. A person who sits in the office till late is not a hardworking person. He is a fool who doesn't know how to manage works within stipulated time. Beside, he is a loser in life who doesn't have personal or social life.
6. You did not study hard and struggle in the life to be a machine and live a meaningless life.
7. If your boss forces you to work late. Just forward him this message. He will try to make his/her life meaningful too.
Leaving Office on Time: More productivity, good social life, good family relations
Leaving Office Late : Less productivity, no social life, no family life.
Cerita...Brain Study
Wow! It took me a few seconds, but then I got the hang of it... I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.
F124NKly 5p34k1ng? Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:
71-115 111355463
5312V35 7O P120V3
1-10W 0U12 1111ND5 C4N
D0 41114Z1N6 71-11N65!
1111P123551V3 71-11N65!
1N 71-13 8361NN1N6
17 W45 1-1412D 8U7
N0W, 0N 71-115 L1N3
Y0U12 1111ND 15
1234D1N6 17
4U70111471C4LLY
W171-1 0U7 3V3N
71-11NK1N6 480U7 17,
B3 P12OUD! 0NLY
C312741N P30PL3 C4N
123AD 71-115.
PL3453 F012W412D 1F
U C4N 1234D 71-115
The answer is :
This message, serves to prove, how our mind can do amazing things, impressive things ... In the beginning it was hard, but now on this line your mind is reading automatically without even thinking. Be proud! Only certain people can read this. Please forward if you can read this
F124NKly 5p34k1ng? Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:
71-115 111355463
5312V35 7O P120V3
1-10W 0U12 1111ND5 C4N
D0 41114Z1N6 71-11N65!
1111P123551V3 71-11N65!
1N 71-13 8361NN1N6
17 W45 1-1412D 8U7
N0W, 0N 71-115 L1N3
Y0U12 1111ND 15
1234D1N6 17
4U70111471C4LLY
W171-1 0U7 3V3N
71-11NK1N6 480U7 17,
B3 P12OUD! 0NLY
C312741N P30PL3 C4N
123AD 71-115.
PL3453 F012W412D 1F
U C4N 1234D 71-115
The answer is :
This message, serves to prove, how our mind can do amazing things, impressive things ... In the beginning it was hard, but now on this line your mind is reading automatically without even thinking. Be proud! Only certain people can read this. Please forward if you can read this
7 Feb 2012
Cerita...Kisah di Losmen
Narto : “ Masih ada kamar kosong, Mas ?”
Losmen : “ Wah sudah habis, penuh semua Pak”
Narto : “ Waduh, gw seharian capek diperjalanan neh, tolong dicariin donk... Pake tiker juga ga apa-apa...please...”
Losmen : “ sebenernya ada satu kamar sih... Tapi ada orangnya... Bapak tentara sendirian dikamar itu. Di Kamar itu ada 2 kasur”
Narto : “mau ngga ya kalo si Bapak diajak paroan?"
Losmen : “ Mau... Soalnya tuh orang pelit. Tiap sewa kamar losmen diajak paroan pasti mau”
Narto : “ Ya udah, gw mau”
Losmen : “ Tapi banyak yang Puyeng ama kelakuan tuh Bapak...”
Losmen : “ Wah sudah habis, penuh semua Pak”
Narto : “ Waduh, gw seharian capek diperjalanan neh, tolong dicariin donk... Pake tiker juga ga apa-apa...please...”
Losmen : “ sebenernya ada satu kamar sih... Tapi ada orangnya... Bapak tentara sendirian dikamar itu. Di Kamar itu ada 2 kasur”
Narto : “mau ngga ya kalo si Bapak diajak paroan?"
Losmen : “ Mau... Soalnya tuh orang pelit. Tiap sewa kamar losmen diajak paroan pasti mau”
Narto : “ Ya udah, gw mau”
Losmen : “ Tapi banyak yang Puyeng ama kelakuan tuh Bapak...”
Cerita...Kisah di Tanjung Kodok
Ada Tiga pemuda Ekont, Alfiano dan Jimmy berwisata ke Tanjung Kodok.
Ekont berpesan jangan ada yang menginjak kodok, nanti kalau menikah dpt istri jelek.
Kedua temannya tidak percaya,” Itu takhayul”, kata mereka.
Di antara ketiganya Ekont yg wajahnya paling amburadul bin ancur.
10 tahun kemudian mereka reuni di rumah Ekont.
Ekont berpesan jangan ada yang menginjak kodok, nanti kalau menikah dpt istri jelek.
Kedua temannya tidak percaya,” Itu takhayul”, kata mereka.
Di antara ketiganya Ekont yg wajahnya paling amburadul bin ancur.
10 tahun kemudian mereka reuni di rumah Ekont.
Cerita...Melihat Pelangi
Seorang guru baru di Senior High School sedang mencoba berkenalan dengan murid di kelas 3.
Guru : "Kamu yg pake kacamata, siapa namanya dan apa hobinya?"
Murid 1 : "Saya Bahrul, hobi saya lihat pelangi Bu.."
Guru : "Kalo kamu yg duduk di belakang?"
Murid 2 : "Saya Somad, hobi saya lihat pelangi juga.."
Guru : "Sama yaa?? Kalo kamu yg pake topi?"
Murid 3 : "Saya Imron, hobi saya juga lihat pelangi Bu"
Guru : "Wahh, ini satu kelas hobinya sama, hebatt.. Nah, kamu yg paling cantik.. Siapa namanya dan hobinya apa?"
Murid 4 : "Saya Pelangi Bu, hobi saya striptease.."
Guru : "Kamu yg pake kacamata, siapa namanya dan apa hobinya?"
Murid 1 : "Saya Bahrul, hobi saya lihat pelangi Bu.."
Guru : "Kalo kamu yg duduk di belakang?"
Murid 2 : "Saya Somad, hobi saya lihat pelangi juga.."
Guru : "Sama yaa?? Kalo kamu yg pake topi?"
Murid 3 : "Saya Imron, hobi saya juga lihat pelangi Bu"
Guru : "Wahh, ini satu kelas hobinya sama, hebatt.. Nah, kamu yg paling cantik.. Siapa namanya dan hobinya apa?"
Murid 4 : "Saya Pelangi Bu, hobi saya striptease.."
2 Feb 2012
Cerita...Berdiri sejak 1918
Sumini seorang gadis yg sangat miskin,.
seumur hidupnya belum pernah memakai BeHa...
Tapi karena dia sdh pacaran , dia belajar menggunakannya
Tak lama kemudian Sumini dinikahi oleh seorang pemuda dikampungnya yg juga orang susah ...
Utk prsiapan prkawinan Ibunya Sumini menjahitkan BH dan CD untuk Sumini..;)Karena tdk punya uang, ibunya membuatkan dari kain bekas kantong pupuk urea dan kain spanduk pemilu .
Di malam pertama, saat sedang bermesraan, tiba2 suaminya jatuh pingsan..
Karena kaget melihat BH istrinya bertuliskan "BERAT BERSIH 25 KG , HATI2 BERACUN"...!!!
Sedang di CD nya tertulis : CUKUP DICONTRENG, JANGAN DICOBLOS ...!!
Dan kisah penderitaan orang susah yg tdk bisa menikmati malam pertama pun berlanjut.
Karena keesokan harinya ...
Gantian Sumini yg pingsan krn melihat CD suaminya yg terbuat dari bekas spanduk jamu nyonya meneer yg bertuliskan : "BERDIRI SEJAK 1918"..!!!
seumur hidupnya belum pernah memakai BeHa...
Tapi karena dia sdh pacaran , dia belajar menggunakannya
Tak lama kemudian Sumini dinikahi oleh seorang pemuda dikampungnya yg juga orang susah ...
Utk prsiapan prkawinan Ibunya Sumini menjahitkan BH dan CD untuk Sumini..;)Karena tdk punya uang, ibunya membuatkan dari kain bekas kantong pupuk urea dan kain spanduk pemilu .
Di malam pertama, saat sedang bermesraan, tiba2 suaminya jatuh pingsan..
Karena kaget melihat BH istrinya bertuliskan "BERAT BERSIH 25 KG , HATI2 BERACUN"...!!!
Sedang di CD nya tertulis : CUKUP DICONTRENG, JANGAN DICOBLOS ...!!
Dan kisah penderitaan orang susah yg tdk bisa menikmati malam pertama pun berlanjut.
Karena keesokan harinya ...
Gantian Sumini yg pingsan krn melihat CD suaminya yg terbuat dari bekas spanduk jamu nyonya meneer yg bertuliskan : "BERDIRI SEJAK 1918"..!!!
Cerita...Belajar masak
Kuliah masak hari ini yaa ... Lia sedang belajar masak sama ibunya..
Ibu : Nak ikuti perintah ibu ya...
Lia : Ya bu...
Ibu : pertama taruh wajan di atas kompor terus nyalakan kompornya., setelah itu tuang minyak ke wajan...jangan terlalu banyak...
Lia : ya sudah bu...
Ibu : setelah panas masukan bawang merah yang sudah diris...
tunggu sampe matang baru masukan bumbu halus...
Lia : ya sudah bu...
Ibu : kalau sudah tunggu sebentar...sampai bumbu matang dan baunya harum...kalau sudah masukan santannya...
Lia : Iya sudah bu...
Ibu : aduk aduk sampai santan mendidih...
Lia : sudah mendidih bu..
Ibu : kalo sudah kasih salam...
Lia : ASSALAMU'ALAIKUUM....
Ibu : Nak ikuti perintah ibu ya...
Lia : Ya bu...
Ibu : pertama taruh wajan di atas kompor terus nyalakan kompornya., setelah itu tuang minyak ke wajan...jangan terlalu banyak...
Lia : ya sudah bu...
Ibu : setelah panas masukan bawang merah yang sudah diris...
tunggu sampe matang baru masukan bumbu halus...
Lia : ya sudah bu...
Ibu : kalau sudah tunggu sebentar...sampai bumbu matang dan baunya harum...kalau sudah masukan santannya...
Lia : Iya sudah bu...
Ibu : aduk aduk sampai santan mendidih...
Lia : sudah mendidih bu..
Ibu : kalo sudah kasih salam...
Lia : ASSALAMU'ALAIKUUM....
Cerita...Si Aheng dan dokter THT
Selamat pagi reken2, Kisah konyol seorang Ahenk. Ahenk bermasalah pd tenggorokannya, mendatangi Monica seorang dokter THT.
Begitu giliran Ahenk masuk ke ruang dokter dan menyampaikan keluhannya.
Si dokter berkata : "coba keluarkan kepala anda melalui jendela itu ! (Sambil menunjuk ke arah jendela)".
Setelah si pasien Ahenk mengeluarkan kepalanya, si dokter berkata "julurkan lidah semaksimal mungkin selama 15 menit !". Setelah melaksanakan perintah tersebut, Ahenk berkata "Dok, apakah itu terapi mutakhir ?.". Dokter : "Bukan, saya lagi kesal sama tetangga depan."
Begitu giliran Ahenk masuk ke ruang dokter dan menyampaikan keluhannya.
Si dokter berkata : "coba keluarkan kepala anda melalui jendela itu ! (Sambil menunjuk ke arah jendela)".
Setelah si pasien Ahenk mengeluarkan kepalanya, si dokter berkata "julurkan lidah semaksimal mungkin selama 15 menit !". Setelah melaksanakan perintah tersebut, Ahenk berkata "Dok, apakah itu terapi mutakhir ?.". Dokter : "Bukan, saya lagi kesal sama tetangga depan."
Cerita...Lempar kunci mobil
Suatu malam ucok masuk cafe. Dia duduk sendiri di Bar.. Tak lama kemudian Udin masuk cafe bersama 5 cewek cantik di sampingnya. Mereka duduk2 di lounge dan Udin terlihat seperti seorang Raja yang dimanjakan wanita2 cantik.
Ucok yang duduk menyendiri berpikir, kapan sih nasibku bisa spt dia??. Cewek aja aku nggak punya.
Lalu ketika Udin berjalan menuju bar, ucok bertanya: "Udin, Gimana sih caranya kamu bisa dapatkan cewek2 cantik gitu"?.
Udin jawab: "Ini aku kasih tau rahasianya untuk kamu ucok. Kalau kau besok masuk ke cafe, begitu kau duduk di bar, lemparkan kunci mobilmu di atas meja bar, pasti cewek2 datang dengan sendirinya".
Ucok menjawab: "tapi aku nggak punya mobil, hanya motor butut."
Ucok yang duduk menyendiri berpikir, kapan sih nasibku bisa spt dia??. Cewek aja aku nggak punya.
Lalu ketika Udin berjalan menuju bar, ucok bertanya: "Udin, Gimana sih caranya kamu bisa dapatkan cewek2 cantik gitu"?.
Udin jawab: "Ini aku kasih tau rahasianya untuk kamu ucok. Kalau kau besok masuk ke cafe, begitu kau duduk di bar, lemparkan kunci mobilmu di atas meja bar, pasti cewek2 datang dengan sendirinya".
Ucok menjawab: "tapi aku nggak punya mobil, hanya motor butut."
Cerita...Penjual sate
Boy: “Pak, beli sate kambing 1100 tusuk yah !!..”
Cak Kodir: “Oh iya dik, pedes apa enggak? (dalam hati... wuah pesenan gede nih!!..)
Boy: “Yg gak pedas 657 tusuk, yg sedeng 372 tusuk, sisanya yg pedes..,
Trus yg gak pedes 127 tusuk bumbu kecap gak pake bawang, 292 tusuk pake ati gak pake bawang, 52 tusuk yg bumbu kecap tadi pake lontong, sisanya bumbu kacang aja.Yang sedeng 124 tusuk pake kecap, 172 tusuk gak pake lontong, 21 gak pake ati, 23 tusuknya setengah mateng, yg pake lontong 15 tusuk gak pake bawang.Yang pedes 14 tusuknya gak pake lontong, bawangnya dibanyakin dan 28 tusuk setengah mateng, pake lontong, teruuus........”
Cak Kodir : "TAK SATE LAMBEMU AE DIK, MUMET NDASKU...!"
Cak Kodir: “Oh iya dik, pedes apa enggak? (dalam hati... wuah pesenan gede nih!!..)
Boy: “Yg gak pedas 657 tusuk, yg sedeng 372 tusuk, sisanya yg pedes..,
Trus yg gak pedes 127 tusuk bumbu kecap gak pake bawang, 292 tusuk pake ati gak pake bawang, 52 tusuk yg bumbu kecap tadi pake lontong, sisanya bumbu kacang aja.Yang sedeng 124 tusuk pake kecap, 172 tusuk gak pake lontong, 21 gak pake ati, 23 tusuknya setengah mateng, yg pake lontong 15 tusuk gak pake bawang.Yang pedes 14 tusuknya gak pake lontong, bawangnya dibanyakin dan 28 tusuk setengah mateng, pake lontong, teruuus........”
Cak Kodir : "TAK SATE LAMBEMU AE DIK, MUMET NDASKU...!"
Cerita...Mom and Wife
It Does Not Matter Who You Are ??
May be you are King of World...
May be you are most dangerous in world...
May be you are an independent one...
May be you can rule other or rule the World...
May be you are most lovable by others...
Either you are a Gentleman...
Or most Dangerous Killer of the world...
But The fact is this...
When you are at home...
Mom and Wife are the two great Ladies, but for whom U have no existence.
The Former having given U the Life and the Later being helpful to live UR Life..
Respect them and your Respect lies in the same. !!!!!
May be you are King of World...
May be you are most dangerous in world...
May be you are an independent one...
May be you can rule other or rule the World...
May be you are most lovable by others...
Either you are a Gentleman...
Or most Dangerous Killer of the world...
But The fact is this...
When you are at home...
Mom and Wife are the two great Ladies, but for whom U have no existence.
The Former having given U the Life and the Later being helpful to live UR Life..
Respect them and your Respect lies in the same. !!!!!
Cerita...Too Often
We don't realize What we have
until it is gone.
Too often we wait too late to
say "I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the
ones.
We hold dearest to our hearts,
And we allow foolish things
To tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we
let Unimportant things into our minds,
And then it's usually too
late To see what made us blind.
So be sure that you let people
know How much they mean to you.
Take the time to say the
words Before your time is through.
Be sure that you
appreciate Everything you've got,
And be thankful for the little things In life that mean a lot.
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